


They Are Broken

by ShiranuiFion17



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blood, Depressed Hinata Shouyou, Depressed Kozume Kenma, Depressed Kyoutani Kentarou, Depressed Miya Atsumu, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Depressed Sakusa Kiyoomi, Depressed Sugawara Koushi, Depressed Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Depressed Tsukishima Kei, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:55:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28711617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiranuiFion17/pseuds/ShiranuiFion17
Summary: When strong people fall.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 81





	They Are Broken

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters but plot is mine.

If someone told Hinata that he would be crying his heart out in a cubicle beside a broken Tanaka-senpai, he would tell them that they clearly don’t know the lively wing spiker. Except, that’s exactly the situation he found himself into. 

He was heaving out his breakfast and lunch, hands both clutching the mouth of the toilet too tightly that his knuckles turned white when he hears someone enter the comfort room and settle in the stall beside him. He was about to ignore the newcomer when he heard the guy crying and muttering to himself. 

Hinata’s eyes went wide when he recognized the weak voice of his senpai. His senpai who encourages him and complimented him whenever he makes a good spike or whenever he receives well. His senpai who ruffles his hair and treats him with meat buns. His senpai who looks at him with a huge smile.

He sat on the cold, concrete floor, ignoring the foul stench of his puke. He bit his lip as he took in Tanaka’s slurred words. He didn’t know what to do. Should he comfort his friend? Or should he let him be? Was Tanaka-senpai a type of person who wants to be alone when he’s upset? Or was he someone who desperately seeks out people who he hopes would help him? 

He gasped inaudibly when he hears his senpai saying that he is completely insecure with himself and his abilities and that thought is making him fear to take a step forward. 

Hinata’s heart reaches out to his friend who is falling deeper in his sadness on the next stall and did what he thought would help. 

He sung. 

He sung of the pressure and pain. Of shattered people behind strong masks. Of blood running down from opened wounds. Of the whispering ode of the noose. Of rows and columns of bottled up emotions. Of misery’s call. And eventually, of his own parents neglect and his sister’s untimely death. Of his never leaving grief and remorse. Of his own desperation to keep himself grounded. Of his own pains and insecurities to reach the top. He feels his tears falling to his cheeks and chin and smiled to himself bitterly. 

If he hears the crying beside him stop, he didn’t react. He sings and sobs, letting out his own pain and fears. 

When he finished, Hinata wiped his tears with his jacket’s sleeves as he wills himself to stop crying, to stop shaking. While he was doing so, he hears shifting of clothes on the stall beside him. And when he stops himself from wiping his tears, he hears Tanaka say with the most pained toned but with a hint of reassurance Hinata has ever heard from the lively wing spiker, 

“You and me, Hinata. We’ll be fine.” Hearing this, Hinata let down his walls and cried. Next to him, 

Tanaka sang his own melody of melancholy. 

~~~///~~~

If someone told Hinata that he would find himself sitting beside the Grand King himself, sharing a pack of cigarettes, he would say that he wouldn’t be too surprised. When it happened, he really wasn’t surprised.

He was just sitting by the bank of a nearby river, trying desperately to ease his troubled mind and shattered soul after he had run away from home when he heard the first bout of his parents screaming and vases and dishes being thrown around the once happy, lively household when he hears someone settle down beside him. 

Turning to see who entered his personal space, his lifeless chest-nut brown eyes met with a puffy chocolate brown one. “Grand king,” Hinata greeted bitterly as the Aoba Johsai’s setter and captain gave him a constipated smile. 

“Chibi-chan,” Oikawa greeted back and turned his puffy eyes to the calming waters in front of them, his shaking hands tucked in his trench coat’s pocket. Hinata could see the setters sagged shoulders and sadden eyes illuminated by the moon casting its light down on them.

He could see why they say that he was quite handsome, but Hinata could only laugh at his fangirls’ sorry faces that he had come to witness the Grand King with his walls down and he had never seen someone so beautiful in his wretched state. 

He turned his gaze from the setter to the crescent moon above as it basks them in its light. He concentrated on shutting down his mind, pushing away his parents’ screeching voices and images of his sister’s lifeless body. 

But it wasn’t working. 

The more he pushed it away, the more the voices and images become livid and real. He didn’t notice that he was shaking so badly, scratching himself violently that blood had gashed out of his newly opened wounds, his breathing becoming ragged and shallow until Oikawa embraced him and started humming. 

It wasn’t the embrace that got him to stop. It was the melody that the setter was humming. A melody that he had only heard once, on the very day his sister lost her life.

Noticing that the middle blocker had stopped scratching and shaking, Oikawa released him from his shaking hold, produced a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to the small middle blocker, nodding his head toward his bloody arms. Hinata accepted the handkerchief and groaned as he thinks of excuses as to why there are scratch marks on his arms when he must attend morning practice the next day. Maybe Tanaka-senpai could help him. 

As Hinata was wiping the blood off his arms, Oikawa produced a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, took a stick, lit it and took a puff. Noticing a pair of eyes on him, Oikawa turned and saw that the broken middle blocker was staring at his cigar and the setter offered him the lit stick.

Hinata accepted and took a puff out it, the both enjoying the silence as they pass stick after stick, both wallowing in their own damned world. 

After their 17th shared cigarette died, Hinata turned to the brooding third year and said out loud without much thought,

“Is it about your knee?” If Oikawa was surprised by the straightforward question, he didn’t show it. Lighting their 18th stick, Oikawa answered with the saddest tone Hinata has ever heard from the seemingly boastful third year, “Partly.” After taking a puff, he offered the stick to the shrimp.

“It’s not volleyball related, isn’t it?” Oikawa muttered as he stared at Hinata’s now dried up bloodied arms. Chuckling darkling, Hinata nodded as he passed the cigarette to the setter. The two settled on the silence as they watch the moon slowly descending from its throne. 

After Hinata threw the use up 19th stick, Oikawa took off his trench coat and Hinata was greeted by the Aoba Johsai captain’s own scarred arms. Hinata counted, coming up with 16 cuts on the left arm and 17 on the right. “It’s not even,” Hinata muttered as he thumbed the extra cut on the setter’s right arm. 

Oikawa chuckled as he lit their last stick, taking in Hinata’s scratched arms and his scarred ones. “Yours looks like it could be passed for a scratch by a bear,” the setter said as he passed the last stick to Hinata. Shrugging, Hinata took the cigarette. 

They watched with tears falling from their eyes that had seen so much and felt too many as the moon disappear from their line of vision. “Will we be alright?” Oikawa asked, shaking from all his crying and gasping for air. 

“I don’t know,” Hinata answered monotonously as he scratched his arms again and this time, Oikawa scratched his own arms with him, blood flowing from their damned souls.

~~~///~~~

If someone told Hinata that he would find himself empathizing the snarky middle blocker he knows as Tsukishima, he would tell them that that day will only come when numbers his days. And at this point, Hinata wasn’t surprised when it happened. 

Hinata sat at the staircase block on the roof of Karasuno High School building, taking in as much of the silent Earth as much as he could as he nears his end. 

He counted the stars as the cool wind sway past his hair, his fingertips brushes against the pad of paper he had beside him, words shaping his hollowed being. He watched the monochrome color of the sky, wishing that it would explode with its regular color, wishing for everything to look beautiful and wonderful, wishing that at least for once, before he is long gone, that he’d see the hue of blue and red and yellow once more.

As he watches an afterimage of his once happy family dancing happily across the sky, he hears the door to the roof open. He wanted to ignore it, thinking it was probably someone who seeks the afterworld like he is, but he turned and caught a flash of blonde hair from the corner of his eye. Somehow it didn’t surprise him to see Tsukishima walk towards the edge of the roof and sat with the most tortured expression the shrimp has ever seen on the tall middle blocker. 

Hinata reached for his pad of paper, flipped through pages and pages of letters he intends to leave behind, came across an empty page, ripped it off, folded it into a paper plane, and launched it into the air. The plane flew beautifully as it glides with the winds, passing Tsukishima and shocking him, then dived. Chuckling to himself, Hinata grabbed his pad, jumped down and approached the salty teen.

“Are you going to jump?” Hinata asked as he sat beside Tsukishima, setting down the pad of paper beside him and looked up at the moon shying its presence behind the clouds. Tsukishima didn’t even turn to look at him but only answered back, unphased, “Not yet. You?” 

Hinata watched a bird fly by and answered monotonously, “No. Not today.” He turned to his teammate and smiled coyly, “I should have figured you for a guy who likes these sorts of places.” He watched as the tortured expression slowly disappear, watched as a strong wind pass by, making the tall teen wince. Hinata looked down and noticed the snarky teen’s bloodied and scratched arms. He grabbed Oikawa’s handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to his friend who accepted shyly.

“What sort of place is this?” Tsukishima asked as he wipes the blood from his arms. Hinata turned to the different shades of grey and black of the sky.

“Where the silence is just as loud,” Hinata answered as he turned and gave Tsukishima a tired smile. The tall teen stared at him, turned to look at the view below them then turned to him again, “Yeah.” 

They both turned and watched as the sun slowly rise, neither speaking. Tsukishima finished wiping his arms and folded the bloodied handkerchief, then noticed a name sewed on the edges.

“Oikawa?” Tsukishima asked as he turned to look at Hinata, handing the hanky back. “He lent it to me when we shared a pack of cigarettes by the river,” Hinata answered as if it was the most obvious matter. Tsukishima didn’t question it and turned towards the rising sun as it basks them in its early morning heat.

The two didn’t speak as a bird flew by singing its song, the birds with it singing along.

Hinata noticed his teammate’s tear rimmed eyes, eyes that carried too much. “You miss your brother,” Hinata said. Tsukishima could only nod as he reaches out and gripped Hinata’s shirt, gripped his shirt with iron hands as if the world will end if he lets go. Hinata embraced his friend who only cried harder. 

“I miss my sister too,” Hinata muttered as he let Tsukishima’s world crumble. 

When Daichi asked why there were scratch marks on Tsukishima’s arms, Hinata said that he scratched the snarky teen because he called him shrimp. Tsukishima gave Hinata a strawberry cake the next day.

~~~///~~~

If someone told Hinata that he would be drinking coffee with a bunch of depressed boys, he would stare at them and laugh. Except he will drink coffee with a bunch of depressed boys in a few minutes, and somehow the thought didn’t bother him at all.

Oikawa had organized it and practically forced them to attend, thinking that perhaps seeing as they were all in one bucket, they could depend on each other and let out some of their burdens. He also told them that they are welcome to invite anyone who might be in the same state as they are.

So Hinata brought along his best friend who he told of his wretched state and who is in a dire state himself, Kenma. 

The two sat and waited for the others at the café of Oikawa’s choice, with Hinata leaning tiredly against Kenma who hissed in pain as his pants’ fabric came in contact with the cuts on his thighs, all the while playing on his PSP. 

Hinata watched Kenma’s avatar take down his opponent and looked up in time to see Tanaka approaching their booth, with Sugawara following close behind him. 

The team mom stopped in his tracks when he saw Hinata, shocked to see that his seemingly happy and full of energy child have come to a gathering meant for people who are holding on to a thin piece of thread. 

Once he gathered himself, Sugawara slowly approached the group and sat down beside Tanaka, nodding at Nekoma’s setter sitting beside Hinata who gave him a curious glance. Suga turned to Hinata and noticed for the first time, the hollowed look on the sunny child’s face. He’s thinner and paler, and even his hair seems like its duller. Hinata didn’t even give him his signature, glowing smile and one look at the short teen’s empty eyes made his blood run cold. 

Oikawa arrived next with Kyotani walking close by with his hands tucked inside his pocket. They settled down, introduced themselves and waited for a few more people. Sugawara gasped loudly when Tsukishima settled down beside him. Except for Hinata and Kenma, everyone else were surprised when one of the top three Japan high school aces Sakusa sat down quietly beside Kenma and Japan’s top high school setter Atsumu sat down beside Hinata.

If anyone thought that a bunch of depressed teenage boys having a coffee party as they talk about why they are losing their might to take another foot forward would be awkward, they thought wrong.

After one last round of introductions and calling for a waitress so they could order a drink of their choice, they made some small talk as they wait for their drinks. They dragged Sakusa in their small talk and he surprisingly went along with it and answered their questions, not at all bothered with their tight table.

Sugawara could only frown at Atsumu who hadn’t said a word as he leaned against Hinata. It was a huge contrast with his happy, boastful attitude during Nationals and it made him wonder at how good he is at hiding his pain. He turned to Hinata who also didn’t say a word as he stared down at his hands, completely in his own world. Sugawara wanted to reach out to the boy as he has never seen him so quiet, so lonely, so gone. It was only when their drinks were served did Hinata look up, but he still didn’t say a word. When the waitress went away with her tray, Oikawa volunteered to go first, saying that it was him who suggested the occasion in the first place. 

Aside from Hinata who watched everything without a glimmer in his eyes, everyone else reached out for Oikawa who had been treading through thin ice for six months. He had fallen after he and his nephew, Takeru, were walking by the sidewalk when a car with a loose brake came crashing by. The setter was unable to protect his nephew when pain suddenly went through his bad knee resulting for the 8 year to be in a state of coma after he had miraculously survived the impact and surgery. Blaming himself for the sadden state of his beloved nephew, Oikawa began cutting himself and told no one about besides the few men that are present. Kyotani could only pat his captain’s back reassuringly and promise him that he would try his best to be less difficult. 

Sugawara went next. He spoke of his hospitalized mother, unable to stand, sit, or even eat without help. He told of his pains to find a part-time job to pay for his mother’s medical bills, his tuition and his daily needs. He told of his muddled mind snapping and almost killed his mother by smothering her with a pillow. She lived, but her lungs collapsed, and they had to replace it with an artificial lung. It was Tanaka who helped Sugawara with his bills when he caught him breaking down in the club’s changing room. He spoke of her passing with a letter that she left behind, stating that she didn’t blame him. By the end of it, Tanaka embraced his senpai who was shaking violently.

As Sugawara settled down, Sakusa shyly raised his hand as if he was a student asking permission to be called on by a teacher. He spoke of his childhood trauma. He spoke of his father’s attempted rape on him, but he ran away and hid in a huge pile of manure on a nearby farm. After he had reported his father to the police and was arrested, he found himself having a panic attack whenever he saw a small speck of dirt on him which led to him become a germaphobe and unable to socialize. 

Tanaka went next after he glanced at Sugawara and Hinata who already knew of his condition. He spoke of his insecurities in his abilities which was led on by his father’s continuous brutal nitpicking. He spoke of his sister’s troubles when she found out about what their father was doing to him and went to court for his custody. He spoke of his shaking hands and his father’s voice inside his head, telling him that he was pathetic. 

Kyotani spoke about his family abandoning him when he was 10. He spoke of his fear to socialize, thinking that they would abandon him too. He spoke of his brother’s return, but Kyotani found out that he only returned because he needed his liver. He spoke of him running away, abandoning social interaction altogether but still hearing his brother’s voice in his head, coaxing him to give up his desired organ.

Atsumu went next as he shifted his weight as to not burden Hinata who hasn’t said a word with the whole ordeal. He spoke of his father’s lewd advances towards him. He spoke of his father’s threat that if he as much as utters a word about the matter, he would hurt his twin. He spoke of his spiking heart whenever his father would as much as talk to his twin. He spoke of his boastful mask which covers his wretched state. He spoke of his relief when his father died. He spoke of his nightmares that to this day, continue to haunt him. He spoke of Sakusa finding out what’s behind his mask when he found him having a panic attack after he had run away when one of his fangirls made a sexual approach towards him. He spoke of Hinata approaching him after he lost to them, telling him that he could be someone Atsumu could rely on. 

A heavy silence befalls the teens as they waited for the remaining three to speak up until Tsukishima volunteered when he saw Kenma looked around with panicked eyes and Hinata didn’t make a move to speak. He spoke of his brother’s death. He spoke of his mother blaming him for her eldest son’s death. They were both walking together towards the neighborhood volleyball association for training when the driver of a truck had a heart attack and veered right, towards the Kei, but his brother pushed him aside, saving Kei but losing his brother. He spoke of his mother abandoning him and started a new family. When he finished, Kyotani hugged him and Tsukishima cried.

Kenma turned to Hinata, threw him a tight, tired smile, turned back to the teens who are looking at them and gave them his most sincere smile. He spoke of his disease, Cardiomyopathy, and his parents suffering to pay off his medication. He spoke of his mother having a heart attack, leaving her husband to fend for their son. He spoke of his father gambling away all their money in his drunken state. He spoke of his father’s lost, not only his money, but also his life. He spoke of the Kuroos taking him in. He spoke of himself feeling like a burden to his friend. Not only are they giving him a roof to live in, but they paid for his medications too. He spoke of overhearing Mrs. Kuroo talking to Mr. Kuroo about having difficulties paying for his medical bills. He spoke of him running away to Shoyou who had opened his arms and welcomed him warmly. He didn’t, however, speak about slipping out of the window with Shoyou when Mrs. and Mr. Hinata began shouting and throwing objects downstairs. He didn’t speak about crying as he could only watch his best friend cut himself. He didn’t talk about the girly bedroom collecting dust as it is left unused. He didn’t talk about the Hinata household. Kenma hugged Hinata and cried, not for self-reassurance, but because he knows that his best friend carries the most pain. 

Hinata reassuringly rubbed his best friend’s back and murmured to him that he did fine. The present teens let Hinata tend to his friend, sobbing away as each story start to sink in. From Oikawa’s and Sugawara’s self-blame, Kyotani’s and Tsukishima’s abandonment, Tanaka’s, Atsumu’s and Sakusa’s fear of their fathers, to Kenma’s disease and his questioning of self-worth. They turned to each other, each one of them reaching their hearts out, the only way they know how to reassure each other. 

They didn’t notice the blank look Hinata gave them when they rubbed each other’s back and tell them that they did good holding on. They didn’t notice as a tear involuntary fell from his burdened eyes. They did notice, however, when Kenma leaned to kiss the tear away. And they most definitely noticed when Kenma embraced Hinata and cried loudly, not caring as passers-by turned to look at them. Hinata embraced the crying cat embracing him and turned to look at the teens staring at them. 

He stared at them, and they could only stare back when they noticed the redhead’s soulless eyes. And the realization hit them.

They knew.

They knew that out of all of them, out of all the teens present, it was him who is most likely to let go first, with the way he looks and the burden his eyes told. They knew, yet they couldn’t speak when he spoke.

“I don’t plan of living anymore,” the redhead spoke monotonously as Kenma stopped crying but continue to sob. The teens stared, not processing the information fast enough. “I only have two weeks at most. I can’t anymore. I’m sorry,” Hinata said as tried his best bow with Kenma still hugging him. As he sat back upright, he watches as different emotions flash on their faces. 

He watches as his vice-captain clasp both of his hands to his mouth in shock, tears threatening to fall from his already puffy eyes. He watched as Tsukishima narrowed his eyes on him, hands reaching until he realized what he was doing and pulled it back to his lap. He watches as Tanaka opened his mouth, trying to speak, then closed it again, words unable to process in his head. He watched as Oikawa looked at him with disbelief. Hinata almost laughed dryly. The purpose of this little meet-up was so they could ease their burdens so that none of them would give up. Sakusa and Kyotani didn’t know how to react as they weren’t close to him at all. Kenma released him from his hold and leaned on him, giving him as much warmth as he could. He watched as Atsumu started crying, stood up, slams his hands on the table, shocking the teens and bystanders nearby.

“YA TOLD ME TA HOLD ON, FUCKDAMMIT! AND YA WANT TA LET GO?!” Atsumu screamed as he stared at Hinata, at the person who offered his shoulder to cry on, at the person who he felt comfortable enough to drop his mask, at the person who encouraged him to take not one, not two, but ten steps forward. 

The other teens turned to Hinata and questioned to the angels why oh why this sunny child before them had to hold on to ever damn emotion, to the point that he doesn’t express it anymore. Hinata just watched everything with a blank expression, completely void of any emotion. 

They watched as Hinata brought up his arm, rolled down his shirt’s long sleeves and gasped. Blood run down from his cut arms, fresh and red. They watched as Hinata threw them a smile and their hearts dropped. If they didn’t know better, they would have thought that the smile meant that he was extremely happy. It was the type of happy smile he made whenever he made a good spike.

But no. 

Sugawara finally let his tears fall. He didn’t know. He didn’t know that their vibrant first year was suffering. That smile, Sugawara knew that it would haunt him forever. He watched the small middle blocker smile like that a million times throughout the year, thinking that he was happy. He felt Tanaka’s body go limp beside him and shifted his weight towards him, he felt Tsukishima did the same as they stared in disbelief. The three of them were there with Hinata throughout the year. They go to the same school, played on the same court, change in the same changing room, share the same meat bun store. And they didn’t know. Tanaka and Tsukishima knew that Hinata was depressed, but they didn’t know that he was this far gone. 

They didn’t know. 

Atsumu knees collapsed and he fell to his seat, not knowing what to do. Kenma produced a first aid kit from his bag, silently asking Hinata who directed his arms towards him and went on to work with fat tears falling from his eyes. 

Hinata dropped his smile and eyed the teens present, not even wincing when Kenma cleaning the cuts and applied antibiotic ointment. After Kenma was done, he inspected his covered cuts, nodding ever so slightly, turned to the still shock teens and spoke.

He spoke of waking up early one morning. He spoke of eating breakfast with his beautiful mother, ecstatic sister and dashing father. He spoke of his sister humming a melody she had heard from the radio before they both ran towards their mother’s car. He spoke of them happily chatting as they waited for the traffic light to go green. He spoke of the car collided with the door beside his sister. He spoke her lifeless eyes staring at him. He spoke of his parents’ change in attitude, ignoring him most of the time unless it was important. He spoke of the ear-piercing screaming and dishes that are thrown. He spoke of his father beating him up if he was drunk. He spoke of his mother who looked down on him with hateful eyes. He spoke of bearing it all for 4 years.

After speaking, he finally took a sip of his now cold drink as he eyed his fellow volleyball athletes before him. Oikawa, Sugawara, Atsumu, and Tanaka were crying and shaking while Sakusa, Kyotani, Kenma and Tsukishima were desperately holding it in. 

He watches as the teens in front of him fall apart for him. He watched but he didn’t feel anything. He watched but he didn’t fall apart. 

He was already broken.

Thinking that there could still be hope, Sugawara frantically wiped away his tears and said through his sobs, “You may not have a family waiting for you at home, but you do have a family waiting for you to come back for practice.” Tanaka and Tsukishima nodded, wiping the tears that still fall. 

Hinata watched them in wonder and chuckled, “I gave my best, Sugawara senpai. I did everything I could for all of you during Nationals. I’ve never been selfish before senpai. Surely you can let me be selfish for once,” Hinata said monotonously. 

Not knowing what else to do, Oikawa stood up and bowed. “Thank you for giving your all when you fought against Aoba Johsai. For as long as I live, I will remember and treasure the memories we shared even if we lost. I pray now that you’ll find peace in the coming two weeks and depart without regret,” said the captain and setter of Aoba Johsai as Kyotani stood up and bowed as well, both crying. 

Atsumu also stood up, still shaking, and bowed. “I tha’k ya, Sho-kun, for listening ta me rant ta ya. I tha’k ya for fighting with everthing ya had during Nationals. I to pray that ya enjoy the weeks ya have left. I may not be able to set for ya, but please wait for me ta set for ya in heaven,” said the infamous Japan’s number one high school as he bit his lip to stop the sobs that threaten to be released from his throat.

Sakusa stood up and bowed deeply, “I do not know you well but I can only wish for you to have good memories before you go.”

Looking at each other and nodding, Sugawara, Tanaka and Tsukishima stood up and bowed. “I know that I speak for the team when I say that we are blessed to have you, Hinata. Even if you were upset, you brought out the best in everyone. So as the vice-captain of the Karasuno Volleyball Club, I thank you for participating in our activities and giving it your all. As your friend, I pray that you can finally let out your pain in these coming weeks so that you can leave behind everything that broke you and go on with peace,” the reserve setter said as he clutch his heavy heart, feeling Tanaka and Tsukishima shake beside him.

Saying this, the teens sat back down and Hinata got a clear view of their faces. Hinata felt a tear fall from his eye and he welcomed it. 

As he wiped the tear away, he felt someone grab on his free hand. Hinata turned to see Kenma clutching his hand as he looks at him with fondness. “I’ll follow you, Sho. To the ends of this damned world. To wherever you want to go,” said the setter of Nekoma High as he reaches out to caress Hinata’s cheek.

Hearing this, Hinata finally cries his heart out, not holding anything back. The teens present stood up, approached the crying teen and embraced him, silently telling him that their heart aches for him. 

After Hinata calmed down, they all paid for their drinks and invaded Aoba Johsai’s volleyball court. They played 4 vs 4 with Kenma as referee, or they were until some decided they wanted to change sides, and everything became uneven because at some point it became 2 vs 6, 5 vs 3 or even 1 vs 7. 

Here, the depressed teens played their hearts out, not bothering to wear their masks because they were truly happy playing the sport that had somewhat brought all of them together, volleyball.

~~~///~~~

No one questioned when Sugawara threw more compliments to Hinata when he managed to dig one of Kageyama’s intense serves, no one questioned when Tanaka kept on ruffling Hinata’s locks and offer him his meat buns, no one questioned when Tsukishima’s snarky remarks had a clear hint of fondness in it.

No one saw the three crying when they watched Hinata play and get to witness him smiling wholeheartedly. No one saw the three embracing Hinata when given the chance.

No one questioned when Hinata proposed to buy meat buns for all of them. No one questioned when Hinata thanked them for the happy memories and told them that he loved them. No one questioned when Sugawara, Tanaka and Tsukishima cried when Hinata said that. They bid him goodbye as he went home, riding his bike.

Unbeknown to the rest of the team, it was their last night with Hinata. Unbeknown to all, Hinata and Kenma rode a train in their trench coats towards the beach, leaving behind letters already addressed to the people they care about. Unbeknown to all, Hinata and Kenma filled their pockets with heavy stones and tied their hands together so that they won’t be separated. Unbeknown to all, the two embraced as they sank, not resisting when their worlds darken. 

The next day, the team didn’t panic when Hinata didn’t show up. They assumed that he was sick. They didn’t see their vice-captain, wing spiker and middle blocker cry. A week later, Nekoma reached out to Karasuno, asking why Kenma wasn’t attending school and missing practice, knowing that Kenma had ran away to the Hinatas. Daichi replied that they haven’t seen Hinata. Both teams launched a full-scale search party when Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei approached Hinata’s parents only to find out that they haven’t seen Shoyou and didn’t know that a Kenma was living with them. 

A week after organizing a search party, each and every one that knew the two woke up to find letters in their posts addressed to them.

To say that everyone was upset when they read their letters was an understatement. 

Karasuno and Nekoma broke. 

Kageyama and Kuroo didn’t know what to do as it was their first-time hearing that their best friends were depressed and suicidal. Coach Ukai, Takeda-sensei and Coach Nekomata did their best to bring their teams back together but knew they could only do so little as it was a very delicate matter.

A month into their grief, Karasuno heard news of Oikawa hanging himself. Atsumu followed a week later with Sakusa beside him as they sat side by side in a huge bathtub and let their bloods flow. Kageyama was so confused and distraught, he had just lost his best friend and now he lost two setters he looked up on. 

Saying that Iwaizumi, Motoya and Osamu were distraught was sugarcoating everything. They had sought out professional help when they fell too, blaming themselves

Before finals, Daichi had stumbled upon a sleeping Sugawara in the changing rooms with his phone beside him. Daichi had reached out to turn off Sugawara’s phone when it vibrated, the screen showing him a message from a group chat that Sugawara was in when the depressed teens separated from their memorable volleyball match. Tsukishima had sent a message, reminding Sugawara to drink his antidepressants. 

Daichi’s eyes went wide as he back read. Asahi and Nishinoya found Daichi crying beside their sleeping vice-captain. When asked what happened, Daichi showed them Sugawara’s phone. 

When they read, their blood ran cold.

They read of their talks about what parts of the body they could cut on without the teams knowing and without affecting their gameplay. They read of their talks about what brand of antidepressants were effective and what were not. To their horror, they read about their talks of way on how to commit suicide. They read of their farewells to Oikawa, Sakusa and Atsumu. And they almost screamed when they read of their farewell to Hinata and Kenma. They read of their talks of their pasts. They were shaken but upon feeling Sugawara steering from his slumber, the three quickly left the room, making a silent agreement to talk to their members that are a part of the group chat after class.

Or that was the plan.

Mid-way through their practice, Nishinoya collapsed and cried, stared at Tanaka with concern, betrayal and hatred. Upon seeing the libero cry, Asahi collapse and cried too, unable to contain the sadness and anger building up inside of him. Seeing the two break down, Daichi confronted Sugawara, Tanaka and Tsukishima in front of all of their teammates, coach and teacher. 

Karasuno broke even more. 

Daichi has seized control of the group chat, inviting the captains of Inarizaki, Itachiyama, Nekoma, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, Motoya and Osamu. 

Upon bringing his twin’s past to light, Osamu ran to the nearest cliff and jumped. Kageyama sued Hinata’s parents for child abuse but lost. Iwaizumi, distraught, turned to care for Takeru who woke up a week after Oikawa’s suicide. Kuroo and Motoya could only cry their hearts out.

In their grief, they lashed out on Sugawara, Tanaka, Tsukishima and Kyotani, the remaining four living members of the depressed teens group chat, blaming them for not telling anyone about their condition so that the 5 could get professional help.

They failed to realize that the four, are in fact, depressed and suicidal themselves. 

Now they could only mourn and grieve when the four were found in Tsukishima’s apartment, lifeless with sleeping pill bottles beside them.

~~~///~~~

Hinata happily watched the view in front of him as he brushes Kenma’s hair whose head lays on his lap.

He watched Oikawa and Atsumu play princess with his sister.

He watched Tsukishima argue with his brother, Akiteru.

He watched Osamu offer one of his experimental onigiri to Sakusa and Sugawara.

He watched as Tanaka and Kyotani flexed their muscles in front of a mirror.

Hinata watched and he smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry but I got hooked on the Depressed Hinata stories and I wanted to make one and thought, why not kill a bunch of people as well.


End file.
